Biblical Dating
Dating is a legitimate way to get to know potential marriage partners, but it must be done according to God's design— with purity, purpose, and spiritual maturity. God has a plan for relationships that protects, honors, and prepares us for the joy and intimacy He designed for marriage.
1. Sexual Purity: Reserved for Marriage
All sexual activity outside the committed relationship of marriage is sin. God's standard is absolute: sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage alone.
"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart..."
Jesus expanded the definition of adultery to include lust. Sexual sin begins in the heart and must be dealt with there first.
"...Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body... Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."
Our bodies belong to the Lord. Fornication (sexual sin) is uniquely sinful because it sins against our own body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
"Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:"
Put to death sexual immorality. Lust and sexual sin are forms of idolatry—placing our desires above God's will.
2. Guard Against Lust
Sexual arousal is normal, but lust must be identified as dangerous and dealt with immediately. Jesus taught that we are to deal with sexual lust before it becomes fully formed as adultery.
Sexual arousal is normal, but it is to be identified as a danger if the person desired is not our right person. Lust leads to sin; guarding our hearts and eyes protects us.
3. Dating with Purpose: Walk and Talk, Not Sexual Experimentation
Dating is a legitimate way to get to know people and identify the right person for you, but that is done by walk and talk—spending time together, getting to know each other's character and faith—not by sexual experimentation.
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man."
The right person is the "glory" of the other partner. Each complements and honors the other, reflecting God's design in creation.
4. Sexual Activity Within Marriage: God's Design
Sexual activity within marriage is a sanctified activity, designed by God for pleasure and the close bonding of a couple in intimacy, trust, and secure loving. That is the marriage concept.
"...For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
Marriage is a profound mystery, picturing Christ and the church. In marriage, two become one flesh—a deep, God-ordained union of body, soul, and spirit.
5. Build Spiritual Capacity Before Seeking a Mate
We are to build spiritual capacity for love and Christian service before we seek a mate. Immature believers cannot ever have the joy and stability within a marriage that God intended.
Dating ought to be a pleasurable social time together without sexual foreplay and flirtation. It ought to be a time of growing to know each other and the Lord, with a deepening of love for both the partner and the Lord, with no conflict between the two.
"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; and walk in love... But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints... For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light..."
We are to imitate God, walk in love, and live as children of light. Sexual immorality should not even be named among God's people. Our dating relationships should reflect this call to purity and holiness.
Conclusion
Biblical dating is purposeful, pure, and Christ-centered. It is a time to grow in knowing another person deeply—their character, their faith, their walk with God—while maintaining sexual purity and building spiritual maturity. The goal is to discern whether this is the person God has for you in marriage, and to prepare for a godly marriage that reflects Christ and His church.